Favourite Things - Six packs and Biceps

Six-packs and Biceps…let’s call it SP&B’s. This is one addiction that has brought me nothing but heartache. But like Amy Winehouse, they tried to make me go to rehab and I said no, no, no….

This addiction started when I moved to the states for college. I latched on to my first SP&B for two years. It was a hell of an emotional roller coaster ride. I latched on and wouldn’t let go like some lovesick puppy. In my defence, I was only 17 at the time. Yeah…young and stupid. Funny enough, he's now one of my best friends

SP&B no.2 didn’t actually start out as one, was a little skinny at first. Nothing really happened there. He’s one that will go down in the history books as “what if?”. It’s like you go to a store, see a dress or a pair of shoes. You’re not sure it would fit but you don’t try it on for fear of messing it up (like your feet are too dirty or smelly or your scared your deodorant would stain the dress). So all you can do is just look at pictures.

SP&B no.3, I met after I’d moved back to Nigeria. It was cool…we connected but it ended up that he had a girlfriend in the UK. Only for him to go around saying that I was confused and didn’t know what I wanted… And everything went downhill from there. Basically, every guy I’ve really been attracted to since then has been in some sort of a relationship. He’s married now

SP&B no. 4, I met through a friend/boyfriend at the time (that only lasted a weekend). He was engaged at the time and since I was in a “relationship” with his friend we just spoke casually. After a couple of months they called of the engagement. He was depressed and started calling me everyday. It was going good. His mum loved me, blah, blah, blah. Only for him, from nowhere, to say that he’d gotten back together with his ex-fiancée. For the first and last time in my life, I cursed someone out. I guess he was shocked that little, gentle me could react like that. He later confessed that he didn’t actually get back with her. I’m guessing he got cold feet plus my no-sex-till-marriage policy didn’t really sit well with him. The romance ended there but we remained friends after I got over it.

SP&B no.5, I met at work. He’s really cool. Had the bad guy thing working for him and we could just talk for hours on end. It also turned out that he had a girlfriend. I asked him why he would do whatever he was doing with me if he was in a relationship. His response was that he wasn’t married yet and that there was nothing wrong with him keeping his options open…lol… He also said that he wanted to come and take care of my plumbing and I kept turning him down. He’s married now with a baby girl. We’re still friends….

SP&B no.6, I met through a friend. He was her boyfriend’s friend. He wasn’t in a relationship at the time so that was good. We got along fine…he was different from the guy I’d dated. He was very protective and quite lovey dovey and the romantic bug hadn’t bitten me yet. Needless to say after about two months, I was already getting tried. My friend had broken up with her boyfriend cos he’d cheated on her. SO the boyfriend came to us to go beg her for him. Well we got there and met another friend there. So we’re talking and that how MY boyfriend starts going on about how “it’s a man’s world. Men are allowed to cheat. Women however cannot cheat, if they do they should be disgraced”…I didn’t say anything then. The girl we met was even like, “you’ll say that in front of your girlfriend” and he was like, “she’s okay”. I waited a couple of days after that to confront him. When I did, this was his response, “I don’t know why you’re making a big deal out of this, I’ll cheat on you after a year, it just wont hurt you cos you wouldn’t know”…lol…really, I must have had stupid written on my forehead at the time. I told him I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone I couldn’t trust. He also wasn’t too pleased with my policy so I nkwo he’d definitely have cheated. A couple of people were like, “at least he was honest”. Yeah, he was but the attitude towards infidelity I couldn’t deal with.

SP&B no.7, I met while on a course in Holland. We got along very well. I think that was the most sappiest/romantic I’ve been. He had a son (I loveeeee kids) and wasn’t currently in a relationship. After the course, we had a farewell good enough for a romance novel and we were going to do it long distance. Only for me to travel to the states, I call him and he goes he and his girlfriend got back together. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A year later he’s still trying to make a comeback, that the mistake he made was telling me they’d gotten back together at the time. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That he was sorry if he hurt me (sorry for yourself) and that I should stop playing hard so that we could just move on.

SP&B no.8, is an addiction I cant seem to let go of. He’s such a cutie and really sweet. Age must have really softened me cos I was not really the sappy kind of girl. We’ve hung out, gone out on dates…and we get along very well. He said he really liked me but he never went further. My policy didn’t help matters either. For him, I think he’s just not at that place where he’d need to be in order to be in a serious relationship. Most guys tell me when they get to know me, they see marriage and it scares them cos they’re not at that point.

That bring us to the latest one, SP&B no.9. We get along great, we can talk about anything…just perfect. I catch myself checking my phone constantly to see if he sent me a text, or if he called and I’d missed it. Anything happens, he’s the first person I want to call…but there’s a problem…you guessed right. Yup, he has a girlfriend…so I guess I’ll just have to relax and not get in any deeper. And start coming down from the clouds. If nothing, he’d definitely be good to have as a friend.

There’ve been other guys that weren’t SP&B’s but if I told all the stories, it’d be 10 pages long.

It seems like everyone wants to sample the merchandise before purchasing. This ain't Burger King! You can't always have it your way! You know how you go to a store and you see a dress, shoe, whatever and you don’t need to try it on. You just know it’ll fit and you’ll feel great about it? I’m just like that dress waiting for the right person to step up.

So you’re thinking maybe she really needs to give up SP&B’s. My answer…No, no, no….lol… My addiction to SP&B’s always takes me to the next one in our instalment...CHOCOLATE!!!