Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Inexperienced Fisherman
Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn't. Everytime the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back. the experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. 'Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?' he asked. The inexperienced fisherman replied, 'I only have a small frying pan...'
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Favourite Things - Happiness
I'm happy!!! Lol...It's the best feeling in the whole world. I've had to ask myself that question. What makes me happy? Ask yourself, what makes you happy?
For a long time my happiness was tied solely to people (friends & family), possessions (shoes, chocolate, etc) and disney...lol... Some people might say there's nothing wrong with that, but the truth is it's all about the extent of it.
Friends made me happy so whenever I was low or sad I'd go to them forgetting they were humans themselves. I'd overcrowd them, over burden them, love them too hard. After a while, they stop calling and avoiding me. So what did I do? Get sad and look for another person that would give me attention. But before I moved on, I'd keep on them until I got so hurt by their reaction, I'd back away but yet the cycle continued. Pathetic huh?
Family made me happy, I kept a happy exterior like everything was okay. Didn't tell them the truth about what I was going through so that they wouldnt feel bad or sad. 'Cause if they were sad I wouldnt be happy.
Chocolate, shoes, clothes made me happy. It got to the point that I had all kinds of shoes, clothes that I just got fed up. I'd go to a store sometimes and nothing would appeal to me because I already had something similar at home. When buying wasn't cutting it anymore, I resorted to sewing them to the point that I had an outfit to wear to church every sunday without repeating. Chocolate...well, I'll never have enough of that. But at a point I had boxes in my room and I'd eat one everyday to keep my spirits up. Not one whole box oh!!!...one piece.
Growing up, when my world was upside down TV was what made me happy. I guess that's where the love for disney also stemmed from. They always seemed so happy on TV.
Then when I came to my senses and started looking to God for my happiness, guess what I would do. Whenever He gave me something I asked for that gave me happiness, I'd question it and rationalize that it wasnt for me or it was too good to be true. Isn't it amazing how that works?
I was driving the other day to work with one of my friends and there was no traffic. You know what we did, we kept waiting for the traffic, wondering what went wrong that there was no traffic. We were like that until we got to work. You know how many mornings, I'd be praying for no traffic. Here we were, no traffic and we couldnt just enjoy it.
Another example is power supply. We hardly ever have constant power supply for 24 hrs. But whenever it happens that we have power, we wonder what went wrong with PHCN that we had power. Again instead of just enjoying it we rationalized that it was too good to be true.
How about us single people asking God for spouses. God brings someone to us that fits us like a glove and what do we do? Rationalize. He/she's not for me, I don't deserve to be with him/her, he/she deserves someone better, we go back to the types that are obviously wrong for us. Meanwhile what you asked for is right in front of you.
I said earlier that I tied my happiness to the number of friends I had. Well sometime last year, I realized I had friends that were actually making me unhappy and sorting through my friends and re-evaluating relationships really helped. There are some friends that I cut off completely, there are some that I don't hear from anymore but whenever they call I'm there, then finally there are the ones that I pray hard for. These are the ones that claim to be friends but really aren't. These I've had to keep at arms length so they don't jeopardize my happiness anymore.
After all these epiphanies, I finally came to the realization that I truly was the only one responsible for my own happiness and sadness. I started to move away from depending on my friends (God bless all of you for your love and patience, you know yourselves) and depending on God. It's hard but a wonderful place to be. Friends, family, chocolate, shoes still make me happy really happy but I'm at a place where if everything isn't "happy", I'm fine.
The one thing I need to work on is questioning/rationalizing when things go the way I wanted them to go. I always think that something would definitely go wrong instead of just enjoying it.
These past years since I got back have been great learning experiences. I've found out a lot about myself and I'm glad all this is happening now and not later. That way when the time comes for me and that special someone to take that step I'll be the best person I could possibly be and hopefully they'd be too...lol...
I know some of you are wondering when did this chick get so spiritual. Well, it's just the real me coming out I guess. I was in the wrong place in my life for a while, I got lost for a bit but now I've found my way back home and it feel's good to be back.
Next up, I'll tell you guys a little bit more about my friends that really and truly make me happy, the ones that could do now wrong in my eyes as a result of all the things we've been through together.
Until then, lotsa love, hugs and kisses. Muah!!!
For a long time my happiness was tied solely to people (friends & family), possessions (shoes, chocolate, etc) and disney...lol... Some people might say there's nothing wrong with that, but the truth is it's all about the extent of it.
Friends made me happy so whenever I was low or sad I'd go to them forgetting they were humans themselves. I'd overcrowd them, over burden them, love them too hard. After a while, they stop calling and avoiding me. So what did I do? Get sad and look for another person that would give me attention. But before I moved on, I'd keep on them until I got so hurt by their reaction, I'd back away but yet the cycle continued. Pathetic huh?
Family made me happy, I kept a happy exterior like everything was okay. Didn't tell them the truth about what I was going through so that they wouldnt feel bad or sad. 'Cause if they were sad I wouldnt be happy.
Chocolate, shoes, clothes made me happy. It got to the point that I had all kinds of shoes, clothes that I just got fed up. I'd go to a store sometimes and nothing would appeal to me because I already had something similar at home. When buying wasn't cutting it anymore, I resorted to sewing them to the point that I had an outfit to wear to church every sunday without repeating. Chocolate...well, I'll never have enough of that. But at a point I had boxes in my room and I'd eat one everyday to keep my spirits up. Not one whole box oh!!!...one piece.
Growing up, when my world was upside down TV was what made me happy. I guess that's where the love for disney also stemmed from. They always seemed so happy on TV.
Then when I came to my senses and started looking to God for my happiness, guess what I would do. Whenever He gave me something I asked for that gave me happiness, I'd question it and rationalize that it wasnt for me or it was too good to be true. Isn't it amazing how that works?
I was driving the other day to work with one of my friends and there was no traffic. You know what we did, we kept waiting for the traffic, wondering what went wrong that there was no traffic. We were like that until we got to work. You know how many mornings, I'd be praying for no traffic. Here we were, no traffic and we couldnt just enjoy it.
Another example is power supply. We hardly ever have constant power supply for 24 hrs. But whenever it happens that we have power, we wonder what went wrong with PHCN that we had power. Again instead of just enjoying it we rationalized that it was too good to be true.
How about us single people asking God for spouses. God brings someone to us that fits us like a glove and what do we do? Rationalize. He/she's not for me, I don't deserve to be with him/her, he/she deserves someone better, we go back to the types that are obviously wrong for us. Meanwhile what you asked for is right in front of you.
I said earlier that I tied my happiness to the number of friends I had. Well sometime last year, I realized I had friends that were actually making me unhappy and sorting through my friends and re-evaluating relationships really helped. There are some friends that I cut off completely, there are some that I don't hear from anymore but whenever they call I'm there, then finally there are the ones that I pray hard for. These are the ones that claim to be friends but really aren't. These I've had to keep at arms length so they don't jeopardize my happiness anymore.
After all these epiphanies, I finally came to the realization that I truly was the only one responsible for my own happiness and sadness. I started to move away from depending on my friends (God bless all of you for your love and patience, you know yourselves) and depending on God. It's hard but a wonderful place to be. Friends, family, chocolate, shoes still make me happy really happy but I'm at a place where if everything isn't "happy", I'm fine.
The one thing I need to work on is questioning/rationalizing when things go the way I wanted them to go. I always think that something would definitely go wrong instead of just enjoying it.
These past years since I got back have been great learning experiences. I've found out a lot about myself and I'm glad all this is happening now and not later. That way when the time comes for me and that special someone to take that step I'll be the best person I could possibly be and hopefully they'd be too...lol...
I know some of you are wondering when did this chick get so spiritual. Well, it's just the real me coming out I guess. I was in the wrong place in my life for a while, I got lost for a bit but now I've found my way back home and it feel's good to be back.
Next up, I'll tell you guys a little bit more about my friends that really and truly make me happy, the ones that could do now wrong in my eyes as a result of all the things we've been through together.
Until then, lotsa love, hugs and kisses. Muah!!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Favorite Things - Shoes
So I've spent enough time talking about SP&B's time to move on to another subject - SHOES!!!
So during my course I saw a pair of Karen Millen shoes on sale and decided when I was done with the course I'd get the shoes. Well, after my little episode I was bent on going to get the shoes, as shoes always lifted my spirits. Only for me to get there and they didnt have my size, talk about depressing. Well, what did I do? Only what any other shoe-a-holic would do, I wrote down the addresses of the Karen Millen Stores in London and was going to go to each one until I found the shoes. That was the only store in Aberdeen and they werent available online. So once I got to London, with my notepad and my trusty tube map I started my search for the shoes. I'd gone to three stores without any luck when I got to the Karen Millen section of Selfridges. The lady there was really nice, they didnt have the shoes anymore but she went online to check who still had. There were two stores left but neither one of then picked up their phones. At this point I was ready to cry. Then the manager of one of the two store just happened to be there helping out there temporarily. She came up and said she was sure they had one pair left in her store and proceeded to call one of the girls there and guess what...yup...they were size 39. I was so excited I told her to tell them I'd be right there. She said I shouldnt rush that they'd hold it for me till the end of the day. Yeah right, like I'd wait any longer. I went over to the store and the lady there told me that she wasnt aware of any shoes being held, I almost collapsed. I insisted that I was there when the manager told them to hold the shoes. She went to the back to confirm and came out with the shoes. That had to be my happiest moment in 2010 maybe even in a long time.
You guys are probably rolling your eyes, like how could anyone go that far for shoes? Well, it all started with my first pair of heels that my mum got me when I was 5 or 6. The were black with white polka dot kitten heels with a bow in the front. I just loved the sound they made whenever I walked. I pretty much wore those shoes everywhere. That's how my love affair with shoes started. Now my outfits start with my shoes. Most people get the dress first, I get the shoes first. I like to get shoes that are different cos there's nothing worse than wearing the same shoes as someone else. I usually start with the heel, I like them embellished, different colours from the shoe. I have a lot of shoes but still need more for my collection. I want to be able to have a shoe for every outfit for every occasion. Just in case...lol...
So that's it, just incase you havent already guessed...I love shoes.
So during my course I saw a pair of Karen Millen shoes on sale and decided when I was done with the course I'd get the shoes. Well, after my little episode I was bent on going to get the shoes, as shoes always lifted my spirits. Only for me to get there and they didnt have my size, talk about depressing. Well, what did I do? Only what any other shoe-a-holic would do, I wrote down the addresses of the Karen Millen Stores in London and was going to go to each one until I found the shoes. That was the only store in Aberdeen and they werent available online. So once I got to London, with my notepad and my trusty tube map I started my search for the shoes. I'd gone to three stores without any luck when I got to the Karen Millen section of Selfridges. The lady there was really nice, they didnt have the shoes anymore but she went online to check who still had. There were two stores left but neither one of then picked up their phones. At this point I was ready to cry. Then the manager of one of the two store just happened to be there helping out there temporarily. She came up and said she was sure they had one pair left in her store and proceeded to call one of the girls there and guess what...yup...they were size 39. I was so excited I told her to tell them I'd be right there. She said I shouldnt rush that they'd hold it for me till the end of the day. Yeah right, like I'd wait any longer. I went over to the store and the lady there told me that she wasnt aware of any shoes being held, I almost collapsed. I insisted that I was there when the manager told them to hold the shoes. She went to the back to confirm and came out with the shoes. That had to be my happiest moment in 2010 maybe even in a long time.
You guys are probably rolling your eyes, like how could anyone go that far for shoes? Well, it all started with my first pair of heels that my mum got me when I was 5 or 6. The were black with white polka dot kitten heels with a bow in the front. I just loved the sound they made whenever I walked. I pretty much wore those shoes everywhere. That's how my love affair with shoes started. Now my outfits start with my shoes. Most people get the dress first, I get the shoes first. I like to get shoes that are different cos there's nothing worse than wearing the same shoes as someone else. I usually start with the heel, I like them embellished, different colours from the shoe. I have a lot of shoes but still need more for my collection. I want to be able to have a shoe for every outfit for every occasion. Just in case...lol...
So that's it, just incase you havent already guessed...I love shoes.
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